top of page
  • Writer's pictureKaren Khan

A Game of Happy Families

Updated: Sep 10, 2021

Everything changes when your children grow up doesn‘t it?

This week I worked with parents, grand-parents and adult children who are estranged from their parents.

When we think of broken ties or abandonment within the family unit, then we automatically think of parents who lose contact with their young children (often through no choice of their own).

However, I’m seeing more clients now who have chosen to cut off all contact with their parents. As a therapist I come from a place of unconditional positive regard, but as a mother I can’t help but feel empathy for the parents concerned. I help them also when I can, to grieve for the loss of their broken family unit, and their identities.

All families are built on ‘shifting sands’. They’re just a group of humans who are often moving, changing, developing in different ways and at different rates. Things get complicated when people find new partners, divorce, have children or decide not to. Is there an adult child out there in the world who asks their mother-in-law’s advice on raising the next generation? No, of course not.

Are there plenty of mother-in-laws giving it however? I’ll leave that one to you.

Families are all about gain but they’re also about loss. The old wise ones know this and it’s good for the soul to listen to their stories about both.

Has your family changed? Of course it has. Everyone’s family does. The key is to endeavour to be an agent of change in a positive direction. Include those new people and listen (I mean really listen) to those parents, children and siblings of yours. They’re a little bit different every day, just as you are.

Understanding is what binds you together and keeps you flowing downstream together. Sometimes you’ll lose the hand of someone dear, but when the water slows down ahead, just paddle on over and you’ll get to the shore.

22 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Self-Compassion and it’s Power to Transform

In the realm of mental health and personal development, self-compassion has emerged as a crucial element in promoting well-being and resilience. When integrated into therapeutic approaches like Cognit


bottom of page